


I Couldn’t Resist

by CharbroilLaFlamme



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Best Friends, First Kiss, Fluff and Mush, Headcanon, In Denial, Love Confessions, M/M, POV First Person, Shippy overtones, Shippy undertones, awkward first kiss, cute I guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-20 23:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14271627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharbroilLaFlamme/pseuds/CharbroilLaFlamme
Summary: As titled, I couldn’t resist putting up one of the excerpts I wrote for my trashy love for this ship.You know when you’re just really excited to write just this ONE part in your story that you write it early?Yeah, that’s what happened.I have two other parts I wrote because I have no self control. At all.Might put those up but they’re far, far mushier. Beware!Oh! Before I forget, here’s the background of the story that got me started on this: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14260695





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, the only background I gave for this excerpt was:  
> Readying for battle; Dell has a heart-to heart with Doe; the conversation radiates with gay.

I whistled away my tedium as I slowly tightened the bolts holding my sentry together.

I twisted the thing until it was as firm as it could be. I tapped it with my wrench gently, a little bit leery. But hopeful.

I heard heavy boots behind me and played my cards, seeing if I could figure out who it was before I looked.

_Quick stride, moving to a rhythm, steel toes..._

I playfully leaned against the stranger’s legs and looked up at the one I was leaning on. “Hey, Doe.”  
Doe chuckled. “Howdy.” He winked.  
I smiled at him. “Your gear still fits?” I said, with slight admiration.  
“Yeah, ‘course.” He sat down. “It’s that clean living.”  
“O’ course.” I smiled, I was happy knowing he hadn’t changed much.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me into him.  
I felt all crimped up. “What’s up?” I looked up at him, wriggling for comfort.  
“Not a thing, Dell, I’m just... thinking.”  
“About what?”  
“About... _all this_.” He said.  
“‘All this’ is kinda a broad topic, Doe.” I said with a small smile. “Might wanna clarify for me.”  
“Well, the mission, _mostly_. But also a ton of other things. Our friendships and whatnot. If we’re still gonna be able to—you know—communicate.”  
“If that’s what ya’ll’re worried about, why don’t ya just talk to ‘em?”  
“I don’t know how to talk to them anymore, Dell.” He confessed bleakly, “They’re all so different now.” He shook his head. “It’s like I don’t know them anymore.”  
I held his arm. “Doe, I’ve changed too, haven’t I?”  
“Um... yeah, but...” he pushed his helmet up and groaned. “You’re... _you_.” He gestured broadly at me. “You’re the easiest one for me to talk to. Always have been, Dell.”  
“I have?”  
Yeah,” he affirmed, “Dell, what’s it like?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“What’s it like to be friends with everyone?”  
My mouth hung open, agape with surprise. “Doe, that ain’t true. I’m not really—”  
“You never worry about anything, Dell, you take it in stride.”  
“I wouldn’t say _that_ now—“ I began to shrink under his words.  
Doe continued. “You’re the most laid-back, level-headed guy that I’ve ever seen. You’re a _far_ better leader.”

_That does it._

“ _Doe._ ” I snapped, I hooked my hand under his chin and stared at him pointedly. “That’s _bull_ and y’all _know_ it.” I moved my hand from his chin and pointed at him. “You have to trust me when I say this. You _can_ do this, Doe, you can unite us, I _know_ it.” I jabbed him in the chest.

Doe blinked, withdrawing from his little episode. “Okay, okay... you don’t have to be such a mother hen.”  
I breathed, smiling at him. “I believe in you, Doe, got it?”  
“You’re so cheesy, Dell.”  
“And I wouldn’t be if you weren’t such a gosh-danged worry wart.”  
Doe laughed, I smiled.  
“Keep your head up, will ya, Doe?”  
“Alright, fine, I will.” He conceded, then squeezed my shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here, Dell.”  
“So am I.”


	2. The Second Excerpt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m a li’l anxious putting this stoof up because they’re amalgamations of squishy/angsty/fluff.  
> I have one last part after this, so be prepurred.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bacground for this part is:  
> More Gay; it is night and they are both injured; Dell is teasing Doe gently about his injuries, Doe has a revelation.

Bleak Fortress Early Excerpt 2  
  


I was redressing my shoulder carefully as Doe sat near me, we were back to back.  
I let out a chuckle, that which hurt my sore throat. “How’s your leg?”  
“‘S’all good, Dell.” He looked at me, his helmet was sitting on his drawn-up knee. He smiled a little. “You’re still as good a fighter as I remember.”  
“You, too. Doe.” I said, I smiled back lopsidedly. “Nice job taking care of that push, by the way.”  
“Thanks, Dell, you know how to wrangle a battle your way, too.”  
“ _Wrangle?_ Really?” I smirked, tickled pink. “Takin’ words from me, eh?”  
“I always wanted to say that.”  
“Did ya, now?”  
“Was always hesitant to. Thought it’d sound dumb coming from me.” He said coyly.  
“It doesn’t.” I reassured him.  
“You really think so?” His eyes lit up.  
“O’ course I do.” I patted his arm, a touch of affection.  
He sighed, suddenly a little distressed. “I’m still worried, that we won’t be able to make it all right.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You ever notice that... they’ve changed?”  
“Well...” I wanted badly to avoid that conversation.

But it was too late. Doe had already started in.

“Nobody’s feeling that spark.”  
“Doe...”  
“Dell, I still think you’d be a better leader... you can get them to band together again.”  
I looked at him with a breath. “I want you to lead, Doe.” I moved his head so he’d look at me. “ _Please._ ”  
He sniffed, close to crying.  
 _Ahh, damnit, Doe._  
I hugged him fast, trying to avoid looking him in the eye.  
Doe sniffed again, he hugged back after a few seconds. “How did I get so lucky to have friends like you guys?” He was speaking into my shoulder.  
“I don’t know, but I promise we’ll stick around. We’ll have your back.” I patted his back with the flat of my hand.  
“Better _saddle_ up, then, _pardner_.” He said, withdrawing.  
I snorted, laughing. “Dammit, Doe, stop, this is serious.”

For a while, it was a light silence with us, I still had laughter playing in the back of my throat.

He smiled and sighed. “Dell, you trust me, right?”  
“Of course.”  
“And you’re my friend no matter what?”  
“You got that right.”  
“That’s good,” he took a deep breath. “Dell, I—“ he cut himself off. He took in air through his nose, “It’s... been a long time, I missed you.” He smiled, but it was... fake.  
“I missed you, too.” I replied out of principle, then I gave him a very inquisitive look, evolving into concern. “Doe, that isn’t what you wanted to say, is it?”  
He shifted his body around to get beside me. “No, it wasn’t.” He swallowed loudly, he looked simultaneously pale and also full of colour.  
I touched his shoulder. “You can tell me anything.”  
He blinked, looking at the ground, I could see his mind racing. “I... I uh... you know when you look at someone and your heart... flutters?” He seemed to be struggling to find the words. His hands fidgeted nervously under his gaze.  
I chuckled and shook my head rather humorously—but I removed my helmet and covered my face as the full weight of what he’d said hit me. My hands began to shake in my silence.  
“Dell?”

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks. And I started to laugh softly. My heart honest-to-God _shuddered._  
“Doe, you—... you know what yer saying, right?” I stammered, vaguely forming words. “ _R-right?_ ” My voice felt strange. My throat was dry. My tongue felt stiff.

I uncovered my face, hoping to make sense of this new development.

I saw that he was looking at me, visibly discouraged by my reaction. “Does this upset you?”  
I looked at him, then quickly began to shake my head, I plopped my helmet back on my head. “No, no, no.” I said rapidly. “It’s, uh... unexpected, but not _particularly_ upsettin’.” _Damn, my neck’s real hot._  
Doe breathed relievedly. “That’s... _great_.” He smiled sheepishly. But the answer I gave must not have been the answer he was seeking...

It was quiet again as we both recounted the conversation. Replayed back in our minds what happened.

We both kinda moved of our own accord, he pecked my mouth shyly, but it little-by-little evolved into a soft—however bristly—smooch.

He smelled like a combination of gunpowder and gasoline. Somewhat like sweat. But a _clean_ sweat.

We both disengaged from each other, glancing into one another’s eyes, lingering a few milliseconds too long until we looked away.

We didn’t bother to mention it, opting to slide from each other in an awkward quietude. Avoiding eye contact.  
Calmness. And a sort of relief.

Doe laughed, however dryly. “S’pose this was how Mikhail and the doc started out?”  
“Prolly, but prolly not.” I said, I moved my hand to my throbbing head. “We ought’ta finish up our bandaging, we got more to do tomorrow, I bet.”  
“You got it.”

But as much as I tried to ignore what had transpired, I couldn’t shake that discomfort.

A bugging, gnawing sensation in my gut that made me feel a mite sick as I left him behind to finish working. A want to cry.

_Jaysus, this can’t be happening..._


	3. The Third Excerpt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is that final part I was talking about. It’s a squishy gross lovey-dovey confession pile.  
> If these excerpts seem a little weird in sequence, a majority of them were written conceptually and would definitely change a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The backround was this: Doe and Dell have another gay moment, but Dell remains closed about it against his better nature; then confessions.

Bleak Fortress Early Excerpt 3

Doe was a clever fellow, guy knew I liked to sit on the roof to think.

I tried not to acknowledge him.

“Dell?” He sat down next to me.  
I hugged my legs to my chest.  
“Dell?” He repeated. “I thought I’d find you here.”  
“Yeah.” I nodded briskly. “O’ course.”  
I felt my shiver returning. I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him.  
I mumbled under my breath incoherently.  
“What?”

I shook my head slightly.

He touched my shoulder.

I couldn’t recall what I had done, but Doe pulled his hand back fast. Speechless.

“I can’t feel like this, Doe, this is so damn _wrong_.”  
He breathed. “Feel like what?”  
“I feel like I really...  _like_ you.”  
“What’s wrong with that?”  
“It makes me... _gay_.” I breathed the word out uncomfortably.  
“ _So?_ ”  
“I’m a _man_ , men aren’t supposed to...” I looked at the sky, gathering my thoughts. “Men can’t like other men... that just makes us sissies, not real men— _pansies_.” I flinched at the words coming from my mouth. I didn’t really want to say them. But the words just kept coming.

Out of the blue, there came a cold response. “So is _that_ what I am?”

I looked at him, his expression was flat, and chilled. He was quiet. “Is that what I am to you?”

“Doe, I don’t mean it—“ I hoped to quell the storm before it started.

But instead, he crossed his arms. “Well, maybe I _am_ a sissy, but I’m a sissy for _you_. I _like_ you, Dell—enough for me to not give a _damn_ about being made a laughingstock.” He breathed through his nose and nodded. Marking the end of his opinion.

I was left speechless.

 _You’re so much braver than me_ , I felt suddenly inferior to him. I couldn’t even fully admit to feeling the same thing for him. _Why am I so damned ashamed?_

He touched my hand and took it into his.  
I looked over at mine and his hands. “This is—“  
“ _Weird_ , I know, it is for me, too.” He said.

He slipped his fingers in between mine and gripped my hand tight. “I’m right here with you, Dell, I’m not going anywhere.” He looked at the ground. “There’s nothing anyone can do about it.”  
“Ah, hell...” I shuddered at my own feelings, I had an arm draped over my neck—hot with embarrassment—as I leaned over awkwardly into my drawn knees. “This ain’t necessary, Doe, you’ve proven your point...”

“That you’re gay as a goddamn rainbow?” I could hear the risen eyebrow in his inflection.

I covered my face with my helmet again—and I quickly realised this was becoming a trend. “ _Doe_...”  
“You can drop the last name, Dell. I did.”  
“That’s ‘cause it’s three syllables, ya dummy.”  
“Well, There’s that, yeah.” He smiled, but it was in good humour.

I looked at him from under my headgear bashfully. “I hate you, Jane.” The name felt foreign on my tongue, but refreshing.

“That’s okay, I can live with that.”  
He was close to me again, beside me. His shoulder bumped into mine.

He was still holding my hand, which was becoming clammy, I returned the sentiment, bit by bit, leaning against him silently.

I began to cry.

The tears just kept on coming.  
Until my breaths started catching in my throat. My body breaking into shivers.

“ _Damnit_ , Jane, look what you did...” I sloppily wiped my eyes. Blubbering like mad. I sniffed and rubbed my eyes raw. “Y’all made me like this. This is _your_ fault.”  
Doe shrugged nonchalantly. “And as I’ve said before, I’ll live with it.”  
I was quiet. “... okay.” I muttered, and then squeezed his hand.  
Doe smiled, “Want to try that kiss again?”  
“Yeah.” I nodded.

So we did.

Doe—... _Jane_ coaxed me into it, and I felt instinct and an odd sense of comfort wash over me as he made the first move to kiss me.

I came to appreciate the slight rough feeling of his facial hair, the way he tilted his head to get the perfect position. How I could feel him breathe. The way he held my hand ever tighter. Assuring me I was safe.

It felt... _right._


End file.
